Guanxi Master

Understanding one of the most important aspects of Chinese culture

The Chinese can be very generous people. In fact, they are some of the most generous people I know. They never arrive empty-handed, and won’t let you leave without taking gifts or food. From fighting for the check at a restaurant to playing the gracious host, the Chinese’ spirit of generosity is one of their greatest cultural treasures. Stemming from the old village traditions, this attribute continues to impact everything from the birthday of an Anhui farmer’s baby to Foreign Ministry negotiations in western Africa.

The Chinese spirit of generosity stems from their corporate perception of society and success that is so strikingly opposed to the individualism of the West. Foreigners want to be self-made and independent, owing nothing to anyone and standing alone. In contrast, the Chinese philosophy states that the only way to affluence is to operate within a community and enjoy success as part of the whole. Historically, Chinese village suffered and prospered together, sharing an almost communal idea of wealth.

Neither the Chinese nor Western system is wrong per se, anymore than red neck-ties are superior to blue. In fact, having grown up in Chinese communities in Australia, I appreciate the differences of both. However, Westerners do sometimes miss out on the warmth of community that comes from abundant giving and receiving, and in our cold, calculated economy, we can forfeit some of the simplest joys of life.

Some might say that the Chinese give only in order to get something. I would argue that this is not true; at least, not in a disparate or deceptive way. The Westerner gives nothing because she does not expect to receive any special benefits. She merely expects a fair exchange. Similarly, the Chinese expects a fair exchange, but one that is enhanced by the warmth of generosity.

For example, sometimes when I have dinner with friends, we all know in advance who will end up paying, whether because of social status, economic position, or past debt. When the tab arrives, however, we all try to pick it up, eventually deferring to the one we know should pay. He gets the satisfaction of being a generous host; we enjoy a nice meal. Meanwhile, I know that in receiving his meal, I will return the favour when the situation is reversed, and we will come out “square.” The same as the Western end result, but a lot more satisfying.

Sometimes, the “return favour” is in a currency other than that given. One of the prominent figures of the traditional Chinese village was the 村长 (cun zhang), or town elder. While he was to be obeyed at all times, he was also the patron of the entire village. In fact, his success as a leader was measured by the happiness and prosperity of his people, and cun zhangs were known by their kindly beneficence and generosity. In return, the villagers would give their loyalty and honour. It was as much an equal exchange as any Western commercial transaction, yet framed in terms of warmth and friendship.

Last week, I was taken out by my friend’s father, a local boss who has accepted me into his “village” and is the head of our “family”. Through the course of the rather expensive evening, I was struck with how happy he was as he took us around and introduced us to new places and experiences that we’d never seen. In fulfilling his roll as the beneficent cun zhang, he reminded me of some affable Santa Claus, beaming at us as he experienced the simple joy of giving. I could not afford to repay him monetarily, and any attempt to do so would be offensive. However, I can return his generosity with respect and gratitude, two of the most important virtues of the village. By honouring him as my cun zhang, I fulfil my share of the bargain, and according to the village economy, it’s considered a fair deal.

This pride of the cun zhang is the thrill China felt as it spent $40 billion to host the world at the 2008 Olympics, and it explains China’s vehement reaction to the “ungrateful” criticisms it received “in return”. It also explains why Beijing can be so patient in one-way relationships with small countries in the Pacific, Africa, and Asia. For example, China continues sending food supplies and oil to North Korea because North Korea continues to pay respect to Beijing, honouring China as the “village leader” and observing its wishes. Recent relations have grown colder as Pyongyang has been less responsive to China regarding regional peace talks, and if North Korea stops giving China the full respect it deserves, then the relationship will dramatically change. The village system functions the same at every level of China.

The Chinese system of giving is very fair and equitable so long as you understand what is implied by giving, and what expectations are assumed by receiving. Then, by joining the flow of exchange, you can experience the joy of abundant generosity, because the give and take of relationships is one of life’s greatest pleasures. It’s one that the Chinese village revelled in.