Guanxi Master

If the best way to understand a culture is to understand its food, then dining with chopsticks is certainly instructive when doing business in China

The immortal chopstick. Used as a symbol of the Orient, evidence of chic cosmopolitanism, or even as convenient hair accessories, chopsticks can be cool or cliché, depending upon your perspective. However, they are much more then mere eating utensils, because chopsticks are integral to an entire style of cuisine and system of dining. The concepts behind East Asian culinary philosophy reflect those within the culture itself, and by learning these principles in chopstick usage, the shrewd observer can become skilled in cross-cultural dealings with China.

1. When you’re eating with chopsticks, the pieces are prepared for you in advance by a man in a back room. No knives and forks here. The chef has already decided what will be a suitably-sized “mouthful” for the guests, and the power of the pre-arranger is unquestioned. You’ll eat exactly what everyone else has, in exactly the same size and shape that they’ve got it.

2. You have to estimate weight and consistency before you pick up a piece. Anyone who’s miscalculated the softness of the tofu or the slipperiness of a quail’s egg can tell you of the ensuing embarrassment as they struggled to get the food out of the dish. Once you’ve started, however, you’re committed, so you need to think extra hard before you have a go.

3. Dropping something once you’ve selected it is considered bad form – especially if you drop it on your neighbor. You can laugh it off or try to hide it, but once you drop your food, everyone knows you’re an amateur. And they’ll probably avoid sitting beside you next time.

4. Pieces are often cut far too small in order to make sure there’s enough to go around. Many a chef will make the dish go further by cutting the meat into smaller pieces. After all, he’s not going to reduce his profits just so that the guests can enjoy more. The main thing is that everyone gets a taste, right?

5. Some things are served only for their appearance or fragrance – not for their edibility. Chinese dining isn’t just about getting full. Sometimes a dish is there as pure art – for the enjoyment of the experience. If the chef decides to serve you an intricate vegetable flower or elaborate ice carving, don’t expect it to be nourishing, but be grateful for the opportunity to enjoy his work. Just don’t make the mistake of trying to eat it. And remember that you still have to pay.

6. You eat it how you get it. Many a Western diner has grabbed for their water glass after tasting a dish specifically ordered to be “non-spicy.” This is because Western cuisine is generally offered with minimal seasoning, and the diner adds salt and pepper to her own taste. In China, however, food is served without the option of adding your own spices – if the cook liked it, so should you.

7. Chopsticks are not forks – you have to address different foods differently. Forks offer a “one size fits all” solution to problems of different size, shape, weight, and consistency. It’s all just a matter of applying force, pushing through resistance, and getting directly to the heart of the “matter”. Chopsticks, meanwhile, do not pierce but go around. Whether or not you can hold on depends on how well you anticipate the qualities of the object.

8. Skill only comes with experience. While forks are easy for toddlers to learn to use, young children usually do not eat well with chopsticks. They often have to be fed for much longer periods of time, and someone who can’t feed himself can’t be taken seriously. This is why the Asian culture does not respect young people. They have to gain a lot of experience in order to perform even simple functions.

9. Chopsticks can be used to kill. It is generally considered extremely impolite to spear your food with chopsticks. However, when absolutely necessary, chopsticks can be used as a deadly weapon. There are even some schools of martial arts that teach how to kill with one well-placed jab of a chopstick. While Chinese try to use their chopsticks to get around an object, when all else fails, their direct approach is usually lethal.

So at your next business dinner, don’t just think of your chopsticks as utensils. Let them be your mentors. Learn the way of the chopstick, and thrive.