Zhu Xi’s Canonization of the Life Cycle of the Village in “Family Rituals” (家礼 Jia Li)

In the 10th Century, the famous philosopher, Zhu Xi, undertook the task of gathering the rites and rituals of passage, and recorded them for future generations. Little did he know that this book would capture more than just the customs of the day; the “Jia Li” went on to become a classic in its own right, and would dictate almost a thousand more years of custom in China, Korea, Japan, and Vietnam. It was mainly the adherence to its code of conduct that defined the particular lifestyle of “Neo-Confucianism”.

By in large, the Chinese social contract was an unchanging way of life for almost three thousand years. While many things have changed in the last one hundred years, the cultural mentality that this lifestyle created cannot be easily forgotten, and still informs almost everything that the Chinese individual does today. Here is a basic outline that follows the philosophy of “Jia Li” in Eighty-Eight handy steps… from birth to death (and into the afterlife)!

  1. Birth
  2. A decision was made on wanting the baby or not is most families, with baby girls often being thrown into rivers or lakes because of the importance of boys to the family line and the cost of raising girls[1]. This led to a constant surplus of unmarried males throughout Chinese history. The birth was overseen by female family members and semi-professional midwives
  3. The child was wrapped in red, tied with red thread, given amulets of dogteeth, and “locked” with a silver lock to insure that its spirit stayed within the baby’s body (called a “heavenly mandate lock”, often inscribed with peaches, the three village guardians, or a dragon horse, assuring a destiny and a long life). This was the equivalent to European “christening”, because it was believed to incorporate the child literally and symbolically into the continuum of the Chinese cultural tradition, making the child a benefactor and contributor to the social contract
  4. Red eggs were given to family and friends to announce the birth of a child
  5. The child was given a nickname, associated with an animal or thing, so that evil spirits would not steal the baby
  6. The child was capped with a hat with ears, so that it would look like an animal
  7. After 100 days, the baby’s birth was celebrated and its official name was announced (because of high infant mortality rate, it was assumed the baby would live after such a long time)
  8. i.     The mother “sat her month” (坐月子 zuoyuezi) during this time, with complete rest, a special diet of chicken soup and herbs, and refrained from bathing or exposure to cold and wind
  9. The male child’s first birthday would be celebrated by village feast in which items would be laid out for the child to choose, thus forecasting his future profession
  10. After this time, close relatives and friends would give the child “Red Envelopes” on the New Years, or “Growing Up Money”, to celebrate the child’s yearly birthday
  11. i.     This made Chinese New Year a religiously significant time, both the equinox and the coming of Spring and everyone’s birthday, celebrated with feasting and sweets
  12. Education (科举 Ke Ju) Grandparents taught the children to call the family names
  13. Children were involved in small chores as soon as they could walk, like gathering firewood, herding ducks, or feeding silkworms
  14. At seven or eight years of age, the boys were separated from the girls and taught to read and write in families with means, or helped their fathers plant and weed in a completely destitute situation (bright male children from these families would often be adopted by wealthier relatives with the explicit goal of schooling them, so that they would bring honor to the adoptive family, and riches to their birth parents)
  15. i.     Girls at this age were taught to weave, sow, and cook
  16. For girls of this age in wealthy families, the practice of foot-binding was painfully practiced from the mid-Song Dynasty
  17. To insure that daughters of poor families could “marry up” and bring economic benefits to their families, poor families started to bind the feet of girls they chose to keep, despite their damaged work capacity – it was considered an investment at first, but became the standard of female beauty by the Ming Dynasty, so that all farmers had wives with bound feet by the Qing Thankfully, the other Neo-Confucian societies of Korea, Vietnam, and Japan failed to see the attraction of footbinding, and it was not associated with the traditional worldview.
  18. The education of boys was taken over by a young scholar who was hired for his room and board while studying for his “Master Degree”, and it was his responsibility to see that his students memorized the classics, learned to write the characters with a brush, and learned how to write simple, formulaic poetry
  19. i.     This was often accomplished by brutal beatings
  20. ii.     The ideal was memorization and wrote learning, which meant that there was never a spirit of creativity or freedom of expression fostered by this system
  21. iii.     Despite the forced nature of this education, the Chinese had a high rate of literacy among this class, and established the foundation for the most successful literary culture in history
  22. Once a boy had reached 15-18 years of age, had learned his Chinese characters, Classics, and could write Chinese prose, he took the first examination of a scholar (秀才 xiucai), and regardless if he passed or not, he was deemed fit for manhood and his parents sought to find him a bride
  23. If he was not a scholar, than the young man’s marriage was fixed by his readiness and his father’s financial constraints
  24. After marriage, the path of a scholar was a long and arduous one, in which preparations had to be made for the second examination (举人 juren), after which he often became a tutor for village children or a secretary in local government
  25. After up to ten years, when the scholar was in his thirties, he would pass the second round of Imperial examinations, in which he would become a lower level official
  26. In his forties, if he had been able to keep up his studies and pass the third level of examinations (进士Jinshi), he would be promoted to a position in the Imperial Court, according to the merit of his writing, and could bring ultimate fortune and face to his family
  27. Qing Dynasty Wedding Party in the Famous Qing Dynasty Painting “River Scenes on a Bright Spring Day”
  28. Marriage
  29. Six Rites from the Zhou Dynasty, passed down through Zhu Xi’s “Family Ritual” regulating the observance of the Village’s most important rite, the Marriage Ceremony[2]
  30. i.     Na Cai (纳采) – Opening Investigation by the Matchmaker
  31. Matchmakers were normally older women who had an extensive knowledge of the young people in surrounding villages, making matches for a fee (“eighteen pork legs” is a commonly stated price) or for a customary percentage of the bride price. Their jobs were extremely important to the function of the village, but often not very appreciated by villagers, due to their cost and the fact that people sometimes got less than desirable spouses
  32. ii.     Wen Ming (问名) – Asking the Name and Recording this Information
  33. iii.     Na Ji (纳吉) – Diving the Signs from the Book of Changes (Gaining Heaven’s Permission)
  34. This was the final decision regarding the match, and it literally insured that the village was submitted to King Zhou’s Heavenly Mandate by saddling its most important function with the action of its oracles
  35. iv.     Na Zheng (纳征) – Agreeing on a Bride Price and Writing the Official Document
  36. v.     Qing Qi (请期) – Agreement on an Auspicious Day for Marriage (corresponding to the girl’s time of fertility)
  37. vi.     Qin Ying (亲迎) – “Greeting Relatives” – The Marriage Ceremony
  38. Reception of Bride Price, Bridal Cakes, and Tea by the family finalizes the deal This was called the “Tea Ritual”
  39. Distribution of Bridal Cakes from the Groom’s family among all the relatives of the bride Those who received the cakes were witnesses to the wedding and were expected to come to the wedding feast with appropriate gifts of money for the family
  40. Taking on Social Responsibility through the outward symbols of cap for the boy and coiled hair for the girl
  41. Transfer from girl’s home to boy’s home by procession
  42. Worshiping Heaven and Earth, and Respecting the Ancestors, and Greeting the Family This was done through the offering of tea to the ancestors and to the parents in the “Marriage Tea Ceremony”
  43. A Great Feast for the Groom’s Family It was during this time that the older brother or cousin of the bride would check to make sure the girl was taken care of, and ask the girl three times if she wished to be married to this family – This was the only time that the girl could make a decision: after the consummation, she was property of the boy’s family
  44. If anything went wrong, it was up to the brother to carry the girl back to her home on his back, protected from the groom’s family by whatever brothers or cousins he brought with them (tradition dictated that he was allowed 5)
  45. If they made it back to the girl’s village, the family was responsible for paying the Bride Price back to the groom’s family
  46. i.     If this money and food was not returned, along with the price of the matchmaker, it could result in a deadly blood feud or in the punishment of the whole village by the magistrate
  47. The Couple is Placed in Bed
  48. Confirmed Consummation by the virginal sheets
  49. The Next Morning the Bride was Re-Named by the Family
  50. Three Days Later the Bride would be shown at the Temple
  51. She would be allowed to visit her Home as a Guest and Report to Her Parents that “All is Well”
  52. The Double Happiness Symbol, the Traditional Character Used for “Wedded Bliss”
  53. Birth – Refer back to first point
  54. Work After marriage, people were expected to better the financial situation of their families through labor in the fields, practicing a trade, or by passing the Imperial Examination to become an official
  55. Children born into this situation were by-in-large taken care of by their grandparents
  56. Because young people were expected to work together in the fields and in workshops, the mood was social, and people looked forward to this time in life as the main time to build solid friendships
  57. Education of Children – Refer back to the second point
  58. Retirement After contributing fifteen years to the system, one’s own children were old enough to marry, and it was at this time that one’s job description went from that of a laborer to a household manager
  59. It was expected that at this time of life would be one of relative respect and prosperity, and with the birth of grandchildren, one’s responsibilities were complete
  60. Now was the time to slowly mellow in to old age, do less and less, and enjoy the fruits of having children and grandchildren to act as caretakers
  61. This expectation of a long retirement still permeates China, where many people consider themselves “too old to work” at 45-50 years old. This translates into greater social pressure for young people and a national retirement age that is unusually young by global standards. This could be understood, because the average lifespan before 1949 was 39 years of age, but with Chinese longevity push an average of 82 today, it is a very different concept to retire for half of one’s life
  62. Death
  63. Mourning
  64. i.     White clothes were worn as a sign of mourning, and were required for close family members for three years in ancient times
  65. ii.     Houses were decorated in white banners and incense was burned to honor the dead
  66. iii.     Hired “criers” showed how sincere the family was in respecting the dead, and became a means of support for semi-professional artists
  67. iv.     Family’s worshipped the dead by bowing to the name of the deceased in the family hall, and bowing to the ground three times
  68. v.     A journey back home for those who were away at the time of death was expected
  69. Funeral Banquets for the Community
  70. i.     If the person was young, there was a true spirit of tragedy, but the death of an aged individual was considered a time to celebrate their life, to bless children, and to give away longevity bowls, often decorated with the “Three Village Guardians” or with longevity peach motifs
  71. ii.     Banquets were elaborate affairs, often lasting three days, and would be judged for “sincerity” based on the quality of the food and wine and the quality of the hosting
  72. Funeral Ceremonies
  73. i.     Large amounts of valuable “spirit cash”, paper houses, horses, livestock, clothes, furniture, and household items
  74. ii.     The greater the expense, the higher the honor, and the better off the dead were supposed to be in the next world
  75. iii.     The more generations honored them, the higher in the heavenly hairarchy they were believed to rise, leading the ancestors of wealthy and worshipful families to become demigods, who in turn could protect their family on earth, increase their wealth, and exert special influence on nature for their descendants
  76. Picking an Auspicious Piece of Ground
  77. i.     One of the greatest influences on the well-being of the dead was believed to be the position and beauty of their tombs.
  78. ii.     A piece of ground, preferably facing south, with its back to a mountain, and facing a body of flowing water, was thought to insure the greatest blessing upon future generations
  79. iii.     Tombs were built like small palaces, with the middle tomb belonging to the patriarch, flanked on both sides by his wives, and grouped together with tombs of his ancestors nearby
  80. iv.     For this reason, pieces of beautiful and fertile land became scarce in the Ming and Qing Dynasties, as the population grew, and the belief in the importance of good burial became a central idea in the veneration of ancestors
  81. Burial
  82. i.     A burial parade from the home of the deceased to the burial site would be held by the family, friends, villagers, and any distant attendants that had come for the ceremony
  83. ii.     A Taoist priest or Buddhist monk would often officiate for a fee, reading passages of scriptures and burning special charms and talismans to protect the dead in the afterlife
  84. “Grave Sweeping” and yearly remembrance of both the festivals for the dead and the individual birthdays and death-days of the deceased for seven generations
  85. Spirits would wander in the underworld, being tested and proven by various gods and spirits
  86. The Ancestors would return home twice a year, on the date of their birth and death, to be fed and cared for by the family
  87. The dedication of the descendants to provide for the ancestors dictated how well the spirits did in the pecking-order of the afterlife, resulting in them becoming influential and wealthy in the heavenly hierarchy (thus insuring blessing for their descendants), or being neglected and turning into hungry ghosts who would roam the wastelands in search of food
  88. Buddhist believed that the spirit of the ancestor would reincarnate after five generations, so veneration and expense after this point was not necessary for most Buddhist families, while Confucians continue to venerate all ancestors forever
[1] See the paper by Fuma Susumu on “Infant Protection in the Qing Dynasty” available from the Society for Sino-Japanese Studies, and also Su Dongpo’s letter “Against Infanticide” translated by David K. Jordan and available at his personal website.
[2] This information comes from the author’s study of Zhu Xi’s “Family Rituals”, personal observations and involvement in Chinese family rituals in Shanghai, and David K. Jordan’s Translation of “Dong’s Family Accounts”